Before Lyme, I was the Queen of High Speed. Electric and lit like a thousand watt bulb.
Plug me in and watch me go! Moving, fast, full speed ahead, a super comet, super woman...
....And then, Boom! I crash.
Now, even with Lyme, on a good day, I still bounce around the house like the energizer bunny, then jump in my hamster wheel and go, go, go! Hurry, faster, faster! And I still crash, but harder now.
But isn't it great when it comes? I mean, that burst of energy? I just can't help but be an adrenaline junkie when my little mitochondria supply me with a bit of ATP, even though a voice is hissing inside my head, "This is part of the reason you're in a chronic fatigue fix!"
I'm starting to realize, though, that this energy is really a Lyme symptom--and its name is hyperactivity. So it's not real energy, but a force which compels me to go, go, go, and do life at a breakneck speed before crashing and burning.
"You're always in a hurry," my mother says to me.
Well, at least I have a good excuse now. Who knew that hyperactivity was a Lyme symptom?
(So I guess I don't need any Red Bull, though I could do some great promos for the company without having to ingest a drop of the stuff)
But it's 11:15 PM... and I really need to stop this compulsion to do, do, do!
I'm convinced I can take life slower. Yes, I can beat those Bb buggers who plug me into a socket and keep me wired but tired all day! And it starts right now, by signing off...
Goodnight.
Welcome To Lyme Bytes!
April, 2014- HELLO ALL! I am no longer posting to this blog. For the latest on me and my work, I invite you to subscribe to my NEW blog: www.conniestrasheim.blogspot.com where I share my latest findings on how to heal from chronic illness involving Lyme and other conditions. Thanks!
Greetings and welcome to my Lyme disease blog, a comfy cozy (and sometimes crazy!) place for cutting-edge information, encouragement and insight into the fastest-growing epidemic disease in the United States. In this blog you will find everything from bug-killing strategies to immune system and hormone help, as well as lifestyle and spiritual suggestions for healing from chronic illness involving Lyme disease. The information contained within this blog is based upon my own healing journey and what I have learned over the past eight years as I have been diligently digging and researching my way back to a better state of health. May you find it to be a source of hope, inspiration and wisdom in your own journey towards wellness.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
We All Advocate What Works For Us
When it comes to the ambiguous illness of my friend Broken Billy, I just can't seem to take off my white lab coat and refrain from suggesting half a dozen remedies to fix my poor, busted up friend, no matter that I may understand nothing about his elusive disease.
I've had two and a half years to learn about Lyme, but the more I feed my brain with knowledge, the more I realize that I don't know squat about illness and the human body. I do have a bit of useful knowledge to offer my ailing friends but it's biased based on my Lyme experience and the few dozen books I've read, and so I prescribe to Billy something I know about...a way to heal the body of Lyme! ....when Billy really probably has some other problem.
But I'm learning that even the best of the best, the most educated and trained physicians, do this. The endocrinologist formulates a program for healing based on hormones; the gastroenterologist will tell you that your illness is all in your gut; likewise, the psychiatrist, that it's all in your head.
So perhaps it's a good idea if we all just take off our lab coats sometimes, and take a step back as we consider whether we are really seeing our patients (or friends) and their problems through the filter of our limited knowledge, or whether there's something else to their pain that we just can't figure out or fix, and ought to humbly acknowledge.
I'm not trying to wag a finger; nobody means to be prejudiced, it's just our nature as human doings. But perhaps the one who will be more successful at healing and helping others is the one who can step back and take off the rose-colored glasses.
Granted, the remedies we offer others can be helpful, but when we offer advice and offer healing with a one-size-fits-all mentality, we are behaving in a self-centered manner and without respect for Broken Billy or Sick Sallie's individuality.
I wish I knew how to take off my colored glasses, but I think it's a start for me to realize that when it comes to Lyme, there is no one healing modality that will work for all. We are all made unique and in God's image, and so far, there's no one exit out of the illness, but multiple doors, which we all have to try until we find the one that opens for us.
I've had two and a half years to learn about Lyme, but the more I feed my brain with knowledge, the more I realize that I don't know squat about illness and the human body. I do have a bit of useful knowledge to offer my ailing friends but it's biased based on my Lyme experience and the few dozen books I've read, and so I prescribe to Billy something I know about...a way to heal the body of Lyme! ....when Billy really probably has some other problem.
But I'm learning that even the best of the best, the most educated and trained physicians, do this. The endocrinologist formulates a program for healing based on hormones; the gastroenterologist will tell you that your illness is all in your gut; likewise, the psychiatrist, that it's all in your head.
So perhaps it's a good idea if we all just take off our lab coats sometimes, and take a step back as we consider whether we are really seeing our patients (or friends) and their problems through the filter of our limited knowledge, or whether there's something else to their pain that we just can't figure out or fix, and ought to humbly acknowledge.
I'm not trying to wag a finger; nobody means to be prejudiced, it's just our nature as human doings. But perhaps the one who will be more successful at healing and helping others is the one who can step back and take off the rose-colored glasses.
Granted, the remedies we offer others can be helpful, but when we offer advice and offer healing with a one-size-fits-all mentality, we are behaving in a self-centered manner and without respect for Broken Billy or Sick Sallie's individuality.
I wish I knew how to take off my colored glasses, but I think it's a start for me to realize that when it comes to Lyme, there is no one healing modality that will work for all. We are all made unique and in God's image, and so far, there's no one exit out of the illness, but multiple doors, which we all have to try until we find the one that opens for us.
Saturday, January 27, 2007
The Blessings Of The Sofa Spud Life
If you can't work because of chronic illness, but aren't bed-bound, either, you sure do have some things to be thankful for. Though I typically write with a cynical slant, I thought I'd bind and gag it for a day and try for some happy fluff for a change.
Ten Reasons Why It's Good To Be A Professional Sofa Spud (Or Armchair Artichoke...as they don't move much, either).
1) The sofa (or chair) sure is a comfier place to spend the day than some vinyl office chair. Plus you get a view of the living room or bedroom, instead of boring, in-your-face cubicle walls.
2) You can take as many potty breaks as you like without a boss being around to lift an eyebrow. You can even eat at your soft station.
3) You can read and write at your leisure. Whatever you want. Oprah, health books, a John Grisham novel...Instead of some boring training manual, sales plan or complaint letter from a client...
4) You can eat healthy, homemade food everyday, instead of expensive, processed fast food, which your body rejects anyway
5) You don't have to get up at the crack of sunlight, shower, spend 45 minutes on a make-up job and battle an hour of rush hour. No, get up and make it to the sofa at your leisure. Spend the day in your jammies, if you wish. And forget wasting 45 minutes on your face.
6)You can have a pleasant conversation with friends, instead of spewing a stressful sales pitch to a potential customer.
7)You can go to the gym and grocery store when nobody else is there. No long lines, no parking problems.
8)You can work on all those quiet little hobbies you never had time for before, or all those little mental problems you ignored for so many years. There's no busyness of a day job to distract you from your mind anymore. (Trust me, that's a good thing...)
9)You can talk to your furry friends, (if you don't have one, go get one, as they are pretty easy to come by) instead of listening to the gossip of co-workers.
10)You can work on your goal of total health. Take advantage of it, for you may not have this opportunity ever again!
Ten Reasons Why It's Good To Be A Professional Sofa Spud (Or Armchair Artichoke...as they don't move much, either).
1) The sofa (or chair) sure is a comfier place to spend the day than some vinyl office chair. Plus you get a view of the living room or bedroom, instead of boring, in-your-face cubicle walls.
2) You can take as many potty breaks as you like without a boss being around to lift an eyebrow. You can even eat at your soft station.
3) You can read and write at your leisure. Whatever you want. Oprah, health books, a John Grisham novel...Instead of some boring training manual, sales plan or complaint letter from a client...
4) You can eat healthy, homemade food everyday, instead of expensive, processed fast food, which your body rejects anyway
5) You don't have to get up at the crack of sunlight, shower, spend 45 minutes on a make-up job and battle an hour of rush hour. No, get up and make it to the sofa at your leisure. Spend the day in your jammies, if you wish. And forget wasting 45 minutes on your face.
6)You can have a pleasant conversation with friends, instead of spewing a stressful sales pitch to a potential customer.
7)You can go to the gym and grocery store when nobody else is there. No long lines, no parking problems.
8)You can work on all those quiet little hobbies you never had time for before, or all those little mental problems you ignored for so many years. There's no busyness of a day job to distract you from your mind anymore. (Trust me, that's a good thing...)
9)You can talk to your furry friends, (if you don't have one, go get one, as they are pretty easy to come by) instead of listening to the gossip of co-workers.
10)You can work on your goal of total health. Take advantage of it, for you may not have this opportunity ever again!
Energy And Spoons
Many sufferers of chronic fatigue are familiar with the "spoon theory," which measures daily energy reserves in terms of spoons. A healthy person might get, say, thirty spoons a day, while a CFS sufferer only gets ten, or fifteen. Why did they (whoever 'they' is) decide to use spoons as a symbol of energy reserves? Why not forks, or knives? Or how about a point system? I guess I would know the answer to this if I'd read more about the theory.
So what follows is an illustration of my adapted spoon theory and how it applies to my life. Perhaps you can relate to this...
Before I was sick, I had 50 pieces of sterling flatware in my energy drawer. Now 25 of those pieces are in the dishwasher, and nobody's unloaded it for eons.
So I have 25 spoons left in my drawer, which get used, rewashed and put back into the drawer every day or every other day.
Each daily activity costs me some spoons, and my activities are more costly than my healthy friend Bouncer's, who not only has a drawerful of 50+ spoons, but who seems to get more use out of his (Yeah, he probably doesn't clean them regularly).
I can do just about anything that Bouncer can, if I'm willing to give up my spoons. I can go for an hour run, but I might as well toss my entire 25 spoons for the next three days into the dishwasher, while Bouncer, who has accompanied me on my run, only uses five of his to complete the task.
You see where I'm going with this. I have to choose my activities wisely. And I'm a little jealous of Bouncer.
Being so shortchanged on silverware, I've also grown keen to the fact that emotional, mental and physical energy are not created equally, and that emotional energy is the most costly by far.
When I had health like Bouncer's, I was too blind to notice this.
So even if I do nothing but lie in bed all day, if my emotions are a mess then all my spoons are filthy and my energy drawer is empty. Mental energy usually takes a close second, as reading and writing can use up twice as many spooons as tidying the house.
Sometimes I don't realize I've used up my spoons until it's time for another meal, and then I have to spend a day on the sofa while my spoons get recycled and Bouncer takes care of me.
There is a positive side to this, though (besides being taken care of by Bouncer!). I cherish and appreciate my spoons more than when they were spilling over the edges of my energy drawer. If I can retain that appreciation, perhaps in health I'll never let the dishwasher get completely full.
So what follows is an illustration of my adapted spoon theory and how it applies to my life. Perhaps you can relate to this...
Before I was sick, I had 50 pieces of sterling flatware in my energy drawer. Now 25 of those pieces are in the dishwasher, and nobody's unloaded it for eons.
So I have 25 spoons left in my drawer, which get used, rewashed and put back into the drawer every day or every other day.
Each daily activity costs me some spoons, and my activities are more costly than my healthy friend Bouncer's, who not only has a drawerful of 50+ spoons, but who seems to get more use out of his (Yeah, he probably doesn't clean them regularly).
I can do just about anything that Bouncer can, if I'm willing to give up my spoons. I can go for an hour run, but I might as well toss my entire 25 spoons for the next three days into the dishwasher, while Bouncer, who has accompanied me on my run, only uses five of his to complete the task.
You see where I'm going with this. I have to choose my activities wisely. And I'm a little jealous of Bouncer.
Being so shortchanged on silverware, I've also grown keen to the fact that emotional, mental and physical energy are not created equally, and that emotional energy is the most costly by far.
When I had health like Bouncer's, I was too blind to notice this.
So even if I do nothing but lie in bed all day, if my emotions are a mess then all my spoons are filthy and my energy drawer is empty. Mental energy usually takes a close second, as reading and writing can use up twice as many spooons as tidying the house.
Sometimes I don't realize I've used up my spoons until it's time for another meal, and then I have to spend a day on the sofa while my spoons get recycled and Bouncer takes care of me.
There is a positive side to this, though (besides being taken care of by Bouncer!). I cherish and appreciate my spoons more than when they were spilling over the edges of my energy drawer. If I can retain that appreciation, perhaps in health I'll never let the dishwasher get completely full.
Friday, January 26, 2007
Living The High Cortisol Lifestyle
Nearly everyone in U.S. society is falling prey to what I call the high cortisol lifestyle. Cortisol is a hormone secreted by the adrenals, those itty bitty triangular glands that sit atop the kidneys. Cortisol is responsible, along with other hormones, for a multitude of functions in the body, including blood sugar and blood pressure regulation, fighting inflammation, as well as mobilizing energy for the brain, and enabling the body to deal with stressors. When the body is under stress, whether it be emotional, nutritional, physiological or hormonal, the adrenals are called upon to secrete cortisol.
Stress is a normal part of life, but did you know that western society's way of life, especially that of the United States, is conducive to adrenal exhaustion as a result of the demands put on the adrenal glands to produce cortisol?
First, we Americans thrive on stimulus. Without it, we are bored. Stimulus from the internet, stimulus from recreational activities, stimulus all day long because we need to occupy our minds 24-7. The adrenals don't have the capacity to meet such demands, as such stimuli require more biochemicals than our poor bodies can produce.
Then, we rush, rush, rush to get to the next stimulating activity. We eat fast, drive fast, talk fast, and constantly check our watches to ensure that we aren't going to be late for the next stressful, hurried event.
Who knows, maybe the adrenals would be able to cope if fed the proper diet and if given the proper rest in between all the stimuli?
But the rush-hurry-need-more-of-this-and-that lifestyle means that we won't take the time to prepare a home-cooked meal with healthy, fresh ingredients, and especially not three times a day, and so we opt instead for the nutrient-less, imitation food in a box or poison fast food burgers, and so deprive our adrenals of the raw materials they need to produce the proper amount of hormones, especially cortisol.
And the stimulus lifestyle is addictive, so shutting off the race-race mentality after a long day at work is just not an option, and so we cram recreation and ten thousand best friends into our off-hours. And as for going to bed early and getting a good eight hours of rest? Nah, not an option!
Gosh, those adrenal glands are just so tiny....were they really meant to work THAT hard?
What can we do?
Would any of us ever consider cutting activities from our lives to give our adrenals a break?
Would we consider changing our diets, though it would sometimes mean not going out to lunch with co-workers?
Can we leave some of our daily activities on the "To Do" list for tomorrow?
Can we risk getting screamed at, or fired, from work, because we want to accomplish tasks at a healthier pace? Is our health worth it?
Can we afford to lose the Miss Popularity award because we just can't fit all of our friends into our schedules?
Can we go to bed an hour earlier and forego the late night television?
Hmmm...
Our bodies need stress in the proper amounts, or things will start to go wrong. I ignored the warning signs of adrenal burnout, and now have a serious illness to contend with. You may not be where I am (and I sure hope not!) but if you are suffering from symptoms of adrenal fatigue, it might be worth it to make some changes, before other health problems develop down the road. Your adrenals will reward you for it, too!
Stress is a normal part of life, but did you know that western society's way of life, especially that of the United States, is conducive to adrenal exhaustion as a result of the demands put on the adrenal glands to produce cortisol?
First, we Americans thrive on stimulus. Without it, we are bored. Stimulus from the internet, stimulus from recreational activities, stimulus all day long because we need to occupy our minds 24-7. The adrenals don't have the capacity to meet such demands, as such stimuli require more biochemicals than our poor bodies can produce.
Then, we rush, rush, rush to get to the next stimulating activity. We eat fast, drive fast, talk fast, and constantly check our watches to ensure that we aren't going to be late for the next stressful, hurried event.
Who knows, maybe the adrenals would be able to cope if fed the proper diet and if given the proper rest in between all the stimuli?
But the rush-hurry-need-more-of-this-and-that lifestyle means that we won't take the time to prepare a home-cooked meal with healthy, fresh ingredients, and especially not three times a day, and so we opt instead for the nutrient-less, imitation food in a box or poison fast food burgers, and so deprive our adrenals of the raw materials they need to produce the proper amount of hormones, especially cortisol.
And the stimulus lifestyle is addictive, so shutting off the race-race mentality after a long day at work is just not an option, and so we cram recreation and ten thousand best friends into our off-hours. And as for going to bed early and getting a good eight hours of rest? Nah, not an option!
Gosh, those adrenal glands are just so tiny....were they really meant to work THAT hard?
What can we do?
Would any of us ever consider cutting activities from our lives to give our adrenals a break?
Would we consider changing our diets, though it would sometimes mean not going out to lunch with co-workers?
Can we leave some of our daily activities on the "To Do" list for tomorrow?
Can we risk getting screamed at, or fired, from work, because we want to accomplish tasks at a healthier pace? Is our health worth it?
Can we afford to lose the Miss Popularity award because we just can't fit all of our friends into our schedules?
Can we go to bed an hour earlier and forego the late night television?
Hmmm...
Our bodies need stress in the proper amounts, or things will start to go wrong. I ignored the warning signs of adrenal burnout, and now have a serious illness to contend with. You may not be where I am (and I sure hope not!) but if you are suffering from symptoms of adrenal fatigue, it might be worth it to make some changes, before other health problems develop down the road. Your adrenals will reward you for it, too!
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Babesia And Low Iron
Lyme and Babesia are partners in crime. It seems no accident that the two infections are often found together. Babesia destroys red blood cells, which carry oxygen to the cells. Deprived of oxygen, the body has a tougher time fighting Lyme and Bb thrives in the anaerobic environment.
So what can we do to increase tissue oxygenation?
Consider increasing the body's iron stores, for one. The body uses iron to create hemoglobin, which carries oxygen to the cells. What's more, the body requires that a certain amount of ferritin (iron stores) be present in order for it to utilize artemisinin, a commonly prescribed herb to treat Babesia.
Iron is a finicky mineral that can be difficult for the body to uptake, however. Dr. Schaller, in his book, The Diagnosis And Treatment Of Babesia, prescribes ferrous heme as a highly absorbable form of iron. Also, certain B vitamins are necessary for iron uptake and utilization, especially B-12, B-1, and B-6, so choose an iron supplement that includes these vitamins. Taking iron away from calcium and magnesium is advised, as these inhibit its absorption. Likewise, it's a good idea to take it with vitamin C or orange juice. Taking iron with orange juice is thought to double its absorption in the body.
Finally, if you have Lyme disease but have not been diagnosed with Babesia, yet have low ferritin levels, suspect that the latter infection might be present.
So what can we do to increase tissue oxygenation?
Consider increasing the body's iron stores, for one. The body uses iron to create hemoglobin, which carries oxygen to the cells. What's more, the body requires that a certain amount of ferritin (iron stores) be present in order for it to utilize artemisinin, a commonly prescribed herb to treat Babesia.
Iron is a finicky mineral that can be difficult for the body to uptake, however. Dr. Schaller, in his book, The Diagnosis And Treatment Of Babesia, prescribes ferrous heme as a highly absorbable form of iron. Also, certain B vitamins are necessary for iron uptake and utilization, especially B-12, B-1, and B-6, so choose an iron supplement that includes these vitamins. Taking iron away from calcium and magnesium is advised, as these inhibit its absorption. Likewise, it's a good idea to take it with vitamin C or orange juice. Taking iron with orange juice is thought to double its absorption in the body.
Finally, if you have Lyme disease but have not been diagnosed with Babesia, yet have low ferritin levels, suspect that the latter infection might be present.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
The Lessons Of Chronic Illness
With pain, fatigue and brain fog as constant companions, it's often difficult for me to see the blessings of illness. But I've realized that the ability to do so is vital for peace and finding contentment in my current circumstances.
I have started to make it a habit to say to myself every morning before I get out of bed, "God, I thank you for this day, and I trust that I am in this situation of illness for a reason, and that you will bring good things to my life through my suffering."
One day, I actually made a list of the great lessons that I've learned through Lyme. (There were about forty or fifty of them!). Here I've condensed the list for the sake of my sanity and yours :)
1) How to slow down--There is no way I would have stopped my breakneck pace of life if it weren't for being broadsided by illness. Life isn't about doing as much as it is about being.
2) Give the body nutrition, not garbage--The healthy and sick alike know this, but being sick, you learn that there's more to it than just eating a few greens. For me, the difference between depression and peace of mind, being bedridden or being functional, is in what I eat.
3) Our food supply and environment are heavily contaminated. By being aware of this on a deep level, I can make well-informed choices for my habits and lifestyle.
4) Joy is not in circumstances, it is a state of mind. I can be sofa-bound and still have peace and purpose in my life. This has been, and continues to be, the hardest lesson to learn. Joy is not as much in the external factors of life as the internal.
5) Compassion towards others--Yes, I now know what it's like to be really disabled and poor, and my heart goes out without judgment to the ill, handicapped, homeless and forsaken.
6) Let go of worldly things—There's a ceiling on happiness when it comes to satisfaction through ambition, stimulating activity and material possessions. Yes, I wish I could make greater use of my ambition, and have more recreation in my life--but internal peace really comes from a higher place. To get to that higher place, I've needed solitude and time with God, and illness has allowed me this space.
7) Focus on God as my reason for being--Sometimes we don't go there unless we have no other choice. I once told God I wanted to know Him more than anything else in the world. He might just have taken me seriously.
8) Cultivate new talents and hobbies--I may be a sofa spud and my brain like mashed potatoes much of the time, but the neurons are still plodding along, and my fingers still moving. So maybe I'll start writing again. Hmmm...
9) Learn about medicine and teach others- I'd never had a passion for health before Lyme but I suddenly find it intriguing. Maybe it's for a good reason that I'm here.
10) Financial Security in God--When my condo, job, and savings were swept from me, I had to lean on God for help. Before, these "things" remained as strong crutches for me to avoid giving God the full weight of my trust. But when it was all taken away, and as stuff continues to be taken away, I remind myself that what I have in Him is enough.
I have started to make it a habit to say to myself every morning before I get out of bed, "God, I thank you for this day, and I trust that I am in this situation of illness for a reason, and that you will bring good things to my life through my suffering."
One day, I actually made a list of the great lessons that I've learned through Lyme. (There were about forty or fifty of them!). Here I've condensed the list for the sake of my sanity and yours :)
1) How to slow down--There is no way I would have stopped my breakneck pace of life if it weren't for being broadsided by illness. Life isn't about doing as much as it is about being.
2) Give the body nutrition, not garbage--The healthy and sick alike know this, but being sick, you learn that there's more to it than just eating a few greens. For me, the difference between depression and peace of mind, being bedridden or being functional, is in what I eat.
3) Our food supply and environment are heavily contaminated. By being aware of this on a deep level, I can make well-informed choices for my habits and lifestyle.
4) Joy is not in circumstances, it is a state of mind. I can be sofa-bound and still have peace and purpose in my life. This has been, and continues to be, the hardest lesson to learn. Joy is not as much in the external factors of life as the internal.
5) Compassion towards others--Yes, I now know what it's like to be really disabled and poor, and my heart goes out without judgment to the ill, handicapped, homeless and forsaken.
6) Let go of worldly things—There's a ceiling on happiness when it comes to satisfaction through ambition, stimulating activity and material possessions. Yes, I wish I could make greater use of my ambition, and have more recreation in my life--but internal peace really comes from a higher place. To get to that higher place, I've needed solitude and time with God, and illness has allowed me this space.
7) Focus on God as my reason for being--Sometimes we don't go there unless we have no other choice. I once told God I wanted to know Him more than anything else in the world. He might just have taken me seriously.
8) Cultivate new talents and hobbies--I may be a sofa spud and my brain like mashed potatoes much of the time, but the neurons are still plodding along, and my fingers still moving. So maybe I'll start writing again. Hmmm...
9) Learn about medicine and teach others- I'd never had a passion for health before Lyme but I suddenly find it intriguing. Maybe it's for a good reason that I'm here.
10) Financial Security in God--When my condo, job, and savings were swept from me, I had to lean on God for help. Before, these "things" remained as strong crutches for me to avoid giving God the full weight of my trust. But when it was all taken away, and as stuff continues to be taken away, I remind myself that what I have in Him is enough.
10 Simple Ways to Drastically Improve Your Health
So let's say you are one of those people who just can't take ten thousand vitamins and undergo lots of therapy for your health. Well, here's a short n' sweet list of relatively simple, inexpensive ways to drastically improve your well-being, without pain, lots of money or negative side effects!
1) Take a coffee enema--It's hugely important to keep your liver clean, especially if you are processing lots of Lyme and other toxin die-off. This is a simple, cheap way to do that, and only takes a half hour, twice a week or so. For a super cleanse, have some beets, a carrot and cucumber two hours before the enema. Adding these vegetables will push stones out of your liver!
2) Take a walk- One of the best exercizes there is. Is easy on the body, you can control the pace, and doing it outside in nature with some fresh air to boot is good for the body and soul.
3) Don’t drink tap water, but drink lots of fresh, filtered water--Nearly everywhere in the United States, water isn't safe to drink. Loaded with pathogens and heavy metals, not to mention fluoride and chlorine that is supposed to "clean" the water but which really tear up your DNA, tap water can have detrimental effects on your health. Choose a high-quality filter instead and drink 8-12 glasses of pure H20.
4) Stop eating bread-Gluten is bad news for most of us, and especially the chronically ill. Removing bread from the diet can result in profound effects on mood, energy and digestion.
5) Take chlorella--Whether or not you are sick, it is a good idea to detox the body from pollutants from the environment on a daily basis. Chlorella is a good choice for its effectiveness and nutritional value. Make sure you get it from a pure source, however, such as E-Lyte, Biopure, or Mountain Rose Herbs.
6) Watch a funny movie- Laughter produces endorphins, which have beneficial effects on the body. Doing things that make you happy is the most potent medicine in the world.
7) Pray-Time spent in contemplation and conversation with God gives us focus, purpose, direction, comfort, peace and encouragement. Communion with our creator is just what we were created for!
8) Give up coffee and sugar-Yeah, so you thought I was only going to mention bread, huh?
Okay, so this isn't the easiest medicine to take but if you can do it, you will reap huge benefits in terms of overall health. Coffee and sugar are poison to the body. Sure, go ahead and have a cheat every now and again, but remember, every time you have some sugar, (I mean table sugar here, or sucrose) immune function is temporarily reduced by as much as 75%. Caffeine has a similar effect.
9) Eat more vegetables- You always hear this one, but it's a biggie. Vegetables are THE healthiest thing you can eat. Choose dark green ones first, the starchy ones like squash and potato, last.
10) Serve others-When you are sick, it's hard to want to take care of anyone besides yourself. And often, physical and mental limitations make it nearly impossible. Yet even taking a few minutes out of the day to shift your focus onto another, whether it's through prayer, sending a word of encouragement to another in an email, or preparing a nice meal for a loved one, can have profound effects on health.
1) Take a coffee enema--It's hugely important to keep your liver clean, especially if you are processing lots of Lyme and other toxin die-off. This is a simple, cheap way to do that, and only takes a half hour, twice a week or so. For a super cleanse, have some beets, a carrot and cucumber two hours before the enema. Adding these vegetables will push stones out of your liver!
2) Take a walk- One of the best exercizes there is. Is easy on the body, you can control the pace, and doing it outside in nature with some fresh air to boot is good for the body and soul.
3) Don’t drink tap water, but drink lots of fresh, filtered water--Nearly everywhere in the United States, water isn't safe to drink. Loaded with pathogens and heavy metals, not to mention fluoride and chlorine that is supposed to "clean" the water but which really tear up your DNA, tap water can have detrimental effects on your health. Choose a high-quality filter instead and drink 8-12 glasses of pure H20.
4) Stop eating bread-Gluten is bad news for most of us, and especially the chronically ill. Removing bread from the diet can result in profound effects on mood, energy and digestion.
5) Take chlorella--Whether or not you are sick, it is a good idea to detox the body from pollutants from the environment on a daily basis. Chlorella is a good choice for its effectiveness and nutritional value. Make sure you get it from a pure source, however, such as E-Lyte, Biopure, or Mountain Rose Herbs.
6) Watch a funny movie- Laughter produces endorphins, which have beneficial effects on the body. Doing things that make you happy is the most potent medicine in the world.
7) Pray-Time spent in contemplation and conversation with God gives us focus, purpose, direction, comfort, peace and encouragement. Communion with our creator is just what we were created for!
8) Give up coffee and sugar-Yeah, so you thought I was only going to mention bread, huh?
Okay, so this isn't the easiest medicine to take but if you can do it, you will reap huge benefits in terms of overall health. Coffee and sugar are poison to the body. Sure, go ahead and have a cheat every now and again, but remember, every time you have some sugar, (I mean table sugar here, or sucrose) immune function is temporarily reduced by as much as 75%. Caffeine has a similar effect.
9) Eat more vegetables- You always hear this one, but it's a biggie. Vegetables are THE healthiest thing you can eat. Choose dark green ones first, the starchy ones like squash and potato, last.
10) Serve others-When you are sick, it's hard to want to take care of anyone besides yourself. And often, physical and mental limitations make it nearly impossible. Yet even taking a few minutes out of the day to shift your focus onto another, whether it's through prayer, sending a word of encouragement to another in an email, or preparing a nice meal for a loved one, can have profound effects on health.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Healing Is A Full-Time Job
Healing Is A Full Time Job
If you are not working due to Lyme, do you ever wonder what happens to all that time “off”? Do friends and family ever ask you what you do all day long and wonder how it’s possible you aren’t bored?
The concept of boredom is foreign to me. Even though I don’t work at a paying job, I’ve discovered that treating Lyme is my unpaid, full-time job! Really, I can’t believe how much time I spend trying to annihilate what is perhaps the most complicated disease on the planet.
Just keeping a schedule for my supplements and adhering to it is a gargantuan task. Prior to illness, I had a memory like a flea for taking any kind of pill. Now, I am the champion of vitamin-supplement gobbling, but trying to do it all right is nonetheless an effort.
Why, just take a look at my morning schedule...
9:00 AM- thyroid medication
9:30 AM- salt/C, siberian ginseng, khella and andrographis
9:45 AM- Rizol pure ozonated essential oils
10:00 AM- Breakfast, fish oil, spirulina, and resveratrol
11:00 AM—Iron with another salt/C dose
12:00 PM—chlorella
12:30 PM—Ozonated oils
12:45 PM- Lunch, magnesium, minerals, resveratrol, calcium
The rest of the day doesn’t get any better.
So I’m constantly asking myself all day long which medication or vitamin I need to take next…
Add to this grueling supplement regimen the following; three hours of daily mental therapy (prayer, meditation, binaural beats, visualizations, etc.), three more hours of physical therapies (exercize, sauna, Rifing, enemas, etc.), and another two to three hours of other Lyme-related stuff—ordering supplements, going to the doctor, doing research, answering e-mails, etc. and the day is gone!
Am I insane for maintaining such a regimen? Maybe, but I feel it’s also necessary at this juncture in my healing. I’m sure I’m not the only one with a schedule like this, either, but to anyone who dedicates time and effort towards their healing, I just want to say, We Lyme disease sufferers deserve a prize for all this hard work! :-)
If you are not working due to Lyme, do you ever wonder what happens to all that time “off”? Do friends and family ever ask you what you do all day long and wonder how it’s possible you aren’t bored?
The concept of boredom is foreign to me. Even though I don’t work at a paying job, I’ve discovered that treating Lyme is my unpaid, full-time job! Really, I can’t believe how much time I spend trying to annihilate what is perhaps the most complicated disease on the planet.
Just keeping a schedule for my supplements and adhering to it is a gargantuan task. Prior to illness, I had a memory like a flea for taking any kind of pill. Now, I am the champion of vitamin-supplement gobbling, but trying to do it all right is nonetheless an effort.
Why, just take a look at my morning schedule...
9:00 AM- thyroid medication
9:30 AM- salt/C, siberian ginseng, khella and andrographis
9:45 AM- Rizol pure ozonated essential oils
10:00 AM- Breakfast, fish oil, spirulina, and resveratrol
11:00 AM—Iron with another salt/C dose
12:00 PM—chlorella
12:30 PM—Ozonated oils
12:45 PM- Lunch, magnesium, minerals, resveratrol, calcium
The rest of the day doesn’t get any better.
So I’m constantly asking myself all day long which medication or vitamin I need to take next…
Add to this grueling supplement regimen the following; three hours of daily mental therapy (prayer, meditation, binaural beats, visualizations, etc.), three more hours of physical therapies (exercize, sauna, Rifing, enemas, etc.), and another two to three hours of other Lyme-related stuff—ordering supplements, going to the doctor, doing research, answering e-mails, etc. and the day is gone!
Am I insane for maintaining such a regimen? Maybe, but I feel it’s also necessary at this juncture in my healing. I’m sure I’m not the only one with a schedule like this, either, but to anyone who dedicates time and effort towards their healing, I just want to say, We Lyme disease sufferers deserve a prize for all this hard work! :-)
Saturday, January 20, 2007
The Effectiveness Of Herbal and Vitamin Supplements
We Lymies can sure spend a bundle when it comes to treating our bugs with herbs and vitamins, can't we?
Over the past two (and nearly a half) years of throwing all kinds of ammunition at the army of critters in my body, I've asked myself at least a hundred times whether Borrelia Burgdoferi and Company are getting blown away by my arsenal, or are laughing at the thousands of dollars I've spent on supplements. Weapons designed to keep my organs functioning, weapons designed to detox the body, and more weapons to kill the pathogens....it's never-ending.
I can't know with certainty what's furthered my healing and what hasn't. I might have a clue but any positive change I get in my symptoms could be due to any of the twenty or thirty pills I take a day, or none of these.
The issue of knowing which supplements a Lymie needs deserves an entire dissertation, which, lucky for you, I won't attempt to write today (or probably any other day). What I will share are
a few tips for making sure you get the most out of your supplements.
1)First, not all vitamins and supplements are created equal! Those you find at your local health food store may be good but they may also have been sitting on the shelf a long time, and their potency is questionable.
2) Combination supplements may counteract one another. For instance, it is rumored that calcium and magnesium use the same metabolic pathways in the body, so buying a combo supplement of these will compromise the effectiveness of one of the two minerals.
3) Many companies use unhealthy fillers and preservatives in their products. If you see a fancy word you don't recognize on the ingredients label, watch out!
4) Supplements can come from contaminated sources. Consider fish oil. Unless the distillation process is impeccable and the species of fish used is one thought to be less contaminated by mercury, some of this contamination may seep into the product.
5) Some products aren't manufactured in a bioavailable form, and the body cannot utilize what isn't available to it. A simple example would be purchasing vitamins in tablet form, when a person has insufficient HCl in the stomach to digest the vitamin.
6) Study the interactions between vitamins, or you might be throwing money down the ol' john.
Iron competes with magnesium for first place in the bloodstream, chlorella and Vitamin C cannot be taken together, and the list goes on....Okay, so you can't be obsessive about it, but a little knowledge can go a long way.
So line up your army, and get ready to battle the bugs!
Over the past two (and nearly a half) years of throwing all kinds of ammunition at the army of critters in my body, I've asked myself at least a hundred times whether Borrelia Burgdoferi and Company are getting blown away by my arsenal, or are laughing at the thousands of dollars I've spent on supplements. Weapons designed to keep my organs functioning, weapons designed to detox the body, and more weapons to kill the pathogens....it's never-ending.
I can't know with certainty what's furthered my healing and what hasn't. I might have a clue but any positive change I get in my symptoms could be due to any of the twenty or thirty pills I take a day, or none of these.
The issue of knowing which supplements a Lymie needs deserves an entire dissertation, which, lucky for you, I won't attempt to write today (or probably any other day). What I will share are
a few tips for making sure you get the most out of your supplements.
1)First, not all vitamins and supplements are created equal! Those you find at your local health food store may be good but they may also have been sitting on the shelf a long time, and their potency is questionable.
2) Combination supplements may counteract one another. For instance, it is rumored that calcium and magnesium use the same metabolic pathways in the body, so buying a combo supplement of these will compromise the effectiveness of one of the two minerals.
3) Many companies use unhealthy fillers and preservatives in their products. If you see a fancy word you don't recognize on the ingredients label, watch out!
4) Supplements can come from contaminated sources. Consider fish oil. Unless the distillation process is impeccable and the species of fish used is one thought to be less contaminated by mercury, some of this contamination may seep into the product.
5) Some products aren't manufactured in a bioavailable form, and the body cannot utilize what isn't available to it. A simple example would be purchasing vitamins in tablet form, when a person has insufficient HCl in the stomach to digest the vitamin.
6) Study the interactions between vitamins, or you might be throwing money down the ol' john.
Iron competes with magnesium for first place in the bloodstream, chlorella and Vitamin C cannot be taken together, and the list goes on....Okay, so you can't be obsessive about it, but a little knowledge can go a long way.
So line up your army, and get ready to battle the bugs!
Thursday, January 18, 2007
No Chocolate, No Margaritas, No Sex, No Fun? :( ....
Before I got sick, I thought I understood the meaning of "discipline." I was the straight-A student, the one who could study ten hours for an accounting exam (with a flu!). That tells you something about why I'm in this Lyme fix in the first place, doesn't it?
Never mind that. My point is, studying for those exams, getting up at 4 AM every day to go jogging, and all that stuff I used to do which required discipline...feels like nothing compared to the self-determination I've had to exercize in my healing regimen. Just getting out of bed at 9 AM, after ten hours of rest, is a feat. Every morning, I have to talk my body into parting from the bedsheets.
Me to the body: "Come on, let's get up, it's almost nine-thirty."
The body: "Ah, just a few more minutes like this."
Me: "No! If it were up to you, we'd stay stuck beneath this comforter all day long!"
The body: "And what's wrong with that? We can watch movies from here..."
Me: "As it is, we hardly get anything done! Now get up, you're wasting my life!"
The body: "Don't push me. If you push me, I'll rebel even further..."
And that's just the first fifteen minutes of the day! But the biggest acts of discipline which I should give myself a blue ribbon for, are those which require use of the word "No."
Such as...
No chocolate, no pizza, no bread, no pasta, no beer....in short, no yummy food! (As far as my taste buds are concerned) .
No late nights, no going out, period....because my borrowed income doesn't stretch far enough to pay for the occasional movie.
No deviating from the stiffly structured daily routine....Supplements every hour, on the hour, exercize, sauna, enemas, Rifing, other therapies...and bedtime by 11 PM sharp or I'll PAY the next day with a hefty price tag of fatigue and brain fog.
No splurging on vanity items, such as clothing, music or a nice read.
So as I give myself the Connie Just Say No Award, I reconsider....
That the things I have to say "No" to, are precisely the things that most of U.S. society depends on for its happiness---stimulating activities, tasty (but unhealthy) food and new toys. In other words--greed, gluttony and materialism. While it still hurts to say "No" to these things, I guess I'm finally learning, after two years, to redefine what it means to have a fulfilling life.
SO....
I can't ski, but I can have a great conversation with my mom beside a warm, cozy fireplace.
I can't have chocolate, but I can have almond butter and watch my skin glow like never before
I can't work, but I don't have to get up at 4 AM and battle road rage for two hours a day.
I can't buy the latest fashions, but who do I have to impress, anyway?
Never mind that. My point is, studying for those exams, getting up at 4 AM every day to go jogging, and all that stuff I used to do which required discipline...feels like nothing compared to the self-determination I've had to exercize in my healing regimen. Just getting out of bed at 9 AM, after ten hours of rest, is a feat. Every morning, I have to talk my body into parting from the bedsheets.
Me to the body: "Come on, let's get up, it's almost nine-thirty."
The body: "Ah, just a few more minutes like this."
Me: "No! If it were up to you, we'd stay stuck beneath this comforter all day long!"
The body: "And what's wrong with that? We can watch movies from here..."
Me: "As it is, we hardly get anything done! Now get up, you're wasting my life!"
The body: "Don't push me. If you push me, I'll rebel even further..."
And that's just the first fifteen minutes of the day! But the biggest acts of discipline which I should give myself a blue ribbon for, are those which require use of the word "No."
Such as...
No chocolate, no pizza, no bread, no pasta, no beer....in short, no yummy food! (As far as my taste buds are concerned) .
No late nights, no going out, period....because my borrowed income doesn't stretch far enough to pay for the occasional movie.
No deviating from the stiffly structured daily routine....Supplements every hour, on the hour, exercize, sauna, enemas, Rifing, other therapies...and bedtime by 11 PM sharp or I'll PAY the next day with a hefty price tag of fatigue and brain fog.
No splurging on vanity items, such as clothing, music or a nice read.
So as I give myself the Connie Just Say No Award, I reconsider....
That the things I have to say "No" to, are precisely the things that most of U.S. society depends on for its happiness---stimulating activities, tasty (but unhealthy) food and new toys. In other words--greed, gluttony and materialism. While it still hurts to say "No" to these things, I guess I'm finally learning, after two years, to redefine what it means to have a fulfilling life.
SO....
I can't ski, but I can have a great conversation with my mom beside a warm, cozy fireplace.
I can't have chocolate, but I can have almond butter and watch my skin glow like never before
I can't work, but I don't have to get up at 4 AM and battle road rage for two hours a day.
I can't buy the latest fashions, but who do I have to impress, anyway?
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
A Multi-faceted Approach to Healing Lyme...The Only Way To Achieve Health
You know, Borrelia Burgdorferi and Company are special little suckers. Unlike the treatment of other infections, they suck up every last minute out of my day due to the mess they make of the body. There's always so much clean-up and trying to get things back in order....yes, the pathogens party hard, and invite two thousand of their closest infectious friends over whenever they get the opportunity.
I can just hear them now, "Hey Herpes! The immune system's down! Come on over!"
So what are the implications of this? Well, we Lymies can't just take a few antibiotics and hope for the best...no, not usually. I have met the rare soul who did no more than pop a few pills, and yet who partied hard and still recovered, but that's not most of us.
It is important to take a multi-faceted approach to healing, which includes;
1) Killing Bb and the co-infections, whether it's Babesia, candida, mold, bartonella, parasites, etc... (See my link on treatment options)
2) Doing something with all that bug die-off! Get it outta the body, quick, before the body has to contend with neuro and biotoxins! Make your new mantra, detox, detox, detox!
Chlorella, French Green Clay (yes you can eat clay), coffee enemas with a beet, carrot and cucumber drink beforehand), and cilantro tea with chlorella are a few commonly used detox strategies.
3) Keeping the organs and body systems functioning smoothly amidst all the killing and toxin mop-up!
This means; a) Attention to the hormones! Thyroid, adrenals, etc...b) Attention to the brain, (a dip in serotonin can be bad for the emotions), liver (gotta keep that toxin processor clean), kidneys, adrenals (especially those poor adrenals!...without your adrenals, you don't have an immune system), heart, digestive system, and so on...
4) Staying spiritual...listen to God, spend some time in quiet contemplation. Believe in your body's ability to heal. Don't overlook the emotional/mental aspect of healing. Doing number 4 will give you better results with 1-3!
I can just hear them now, "Hey Herpes! The immune system's down! Come on over!"
So what are the implications of this? Well, we Lymies can't just take a few antibiotics and hope for the best...no, not usually. I have met the rare soul who did no more than pop a few pills, and yet who partied hard and still recovered, but that's not most of us.
It is important to take a multi-faceted approach to healing, which includes;
1) Killing Bb and the co-infections, whether it's Babesia, candida, mold, bartonella, parasites, etc... (See my link on treatment options)
2) Doing something with all that bug die-off! Get it outta the body, quick, before the body has to contend with neuro and biotoxins! Make your new mantra, detox, detox, detox!
Chlorella, French Green Clay (yes you can eat clay), coffee enemas with a beet, carrot and cucumber drink beforehand), and cilantro tea with chlorella are a few commonly used detox strategies.
3) Keeping the organs and body systems functioning smoothly amidst all the killing and toxin mop-up!
This means; a) Attention to the hormones! Thyroid, adrenals, etc...b) Attention to the brain, (a dip in serotonin can be bad for the emotions), liver (gotta keep that toxin processor clean), kidneys, adrenals (especially those poor adrenals!...without your adrenals, you don't have an immune system), heart, digestive system, and so on...
4) Staying spiritual...listen to God, spend some time in quiet contemplation. Believe in your body's ability to heal. Don't overlook the emotional/mental aspect of healing. Doing number 4 will give you better results with 1-3!
Lyme...Testing for the alphabet soup of infections
So you tested positive on your Bowen or Igenex lab test for Bb, (Borrelia burgdorferi, as the spiraled bacteria is called) , but your tests for Babesia, and all those "other" co-infections came out negative. Good news, right? Well, I hate to say it, but Babesia is rather fond of tagging along with Bb, as are bartonella, ehrlichia, coxsackie, ricksettia, rocky mountain spotted fever, and a half a dozen others... and tragically, these infections should not be an afterthought to Bb. So you might want to re-test, because there's a good chance you might have one, or two, or a dozen, important co-infections. (Don't worry, though, I've got 'em all and I'm still here typing...when I said I have a party of pathogens in my body, I meant a BIG party!)
The routine blood test that your local lab does for Lyme is fairly unreliable, and even more so when it comes to certain co-infections, especially Babesia. A close cousin with malaria, you don't want that red blood cell killer in your body, so you'll want to know if it's there.
Fortunately, there are a few "fairly"reliable methods and labs for testing. Igenex is a good lab to start with but if you test negative and yet have symptoms of Lyme or Babesia, you might want to go further and seek out a competent ART (autonomic response testing) practitioner. ART testing is highly accurate if done correctly and is a fast, easy, inexpensive way to test. E-mail me if you need a referral in Washington State for an ART practitioner. Practitioners who do it right can be hard to find.
Beyond that, Bowen Labs is another good choice, which relies upon a positive identification of the Bb spirochete and the Babesia parasite (although it only identifies a few species of Babesia, and there are many). Then there is Igenex, which relies upon the identification of antibodies to Bb and Company. Igenex is a good place to start, but many Lymies won't produce antibodies to the illness, so if you don't get a positive reading through Igenex, it doesn't necessarily mean you don't have the bug! (and keep in mind that an "Indeterminate" reading is thought by some Lyme specialists to be a weak positive) . So go for Bowen, or ART. You may want to test more than once if you still come up with negative results. There are other methods out there, ie, DNA testing, but we'll just keep it simple for now...If you don't have the cash or ability to test for these infections, but suspect you have Lyme, you can always do a trial run of a treatment and determine, based on Herxheimer response, whether the infection is present.
The routine blood test that your local lab does for Lyme is fairly unreliable, and even more so when it comes to certain co-infections, especially Babesia. A close cousin with malaria, you don't want that red blood cell killer in your body, so you'll want to know if it's there.
Fortunately, there are a few "fairly"reliable methods and labs for testing. Igenex is a good lab to start with but if you test negative and yet have symptoms of Lyme or Babesia, you might want to go further and seek out a competent ART (autonomic response testing) practitioner. ART testing is highly accurate if done correctly and is a fast, easy, inexpensive way to test. E-mail me if you need a referral in Washington State for an ART practitioner. Practitioners who do it right can be hard to find.
Beyond that, Bowen Labs is another good choice, which relies upon a positive identification of the Bb spirochete and the Babesia parasite (although it only identifies a few species of Babesia, and there are many). Then there is Igenex, which relies upon the identification of antibodies to Bb and Company. Igenex is a good place to start, but many Lymies won't produce antibodies to the illness, so if you don't get a positive reading through Igenex, it doesn't necessarily mean you don't have the bug! (and keep in mind that an "Indeterminate" reading is thought by some Lyme specialists to be a weak positive) . So go for Bowen, or ART. You may want to test more than once if you still come up with negative results. There are other methods out there, ie, DNA testing, but we'll just keep it simple for now...If you don't have the cash or ability to test for these infections, but suspect you have Lyme, you can always do a trial run of a treatment and determine, based on Herxheimer response, whether the infection is present.
I Used To Have A Life
In the United States of America, we sniff each other out by what we do instead of who we are (and isn’t it safer, in some ways, to say, “I’m a businesswoman,” rather than, “I’m a compassionate, obsessive-compulsive Christian?”
Okay, so although I’ve been known to barf my innermost self to others, I’ll play it safe and describe the Human Doing that I was before I crashed like a Boeing on September 27, 2004.
BTW, I don’t mean to offend anyone’s sensibilities with that statement. I was a flight attendant based in New York when 9-11 happened and the subject is a tender one for me, too.
I had my suitcase packed for a 3-day trip on September 28, 2004 when I awakened in the middle of the night, my heart racing. The next day, I staggered out of bed, and that was the start of my nightmare. But let’s rewind.
In the years leading up to my crash in 2004, I backpacked around the world in my days off of work as a Flight Attendant, my paid profession from 1997-2004. My world was graced with color and stimulation, as I was given wings to see over forty countries in my mid-twenties. (The memories come in flashes and I’ve forgotten much, due to Lyme), but eyes that witnessed destitution fostered my ambitions for bettering a world ballooning with tragedy. Subsequently, I began to use my travel benefits to bring aid to South American hospitals and orphanages, and my airline buddies accompanied me on my jaunts. It was the seed of bigger ambitions that got squashed before they had a chance to take root and flourish.
Meanwhile, my type-A personality admonished me to finish a novel I’d started in 2002, and between 2002-2004 I cranked out four drafts of a manuscript which held promise but which later got dropped on its head when Lyme began screaming for my full-time attention.
Before this, and as I flew lower to the ground, warning signs of a crash manifested themselves as back pain, anxiety and creeping fatigue. I wonder if I hadn’t had routine 14-hour workdays with Lyme if I would have paid serious attention to the latter?
In any case, I entered my thirtieth year with the gift of illness and was slowly torn away from all the ambitions of my “former” life.
Fortunately and unfortunately, I am a single woman with no remaining financial assets and although God has had me dangling by a thread since day one, the string of His provision has not snapped and I’ve managed to pay my bills for the past two and a half years. Moving back in with my parents has meant living once again under someone else’s rules but I’ll take that over homelessness. Unlike what I did to my novel, my parents haven’t dropped me on my head, as some parents of chronically ill adult children do.
I am not the same person today that I was two and a half years ago, and God isn’t finished with me yet. I’m not healed, and my mind has come further along than my body so far. I don’t profess to know “the” path to healing, as there isn’t one when it comes to this labyrinthine illness. But I’m two and a half years of Internet Sofa Research ahead of the next person to get broad sided by Lyme, and yet many years behind those who have coped with this, chronic fatigue, and/or chronic illness for most of their lives.
I don’t know what my future holds but I have reticently given a quiet rest to all of my ambitions, except for two—to heal, spiritually, emotionally and physically, and to learn to love others and myself as God loves me.
I sense I am called to participate in others’ healing, however, and am heeding that call though I remain ignorant of the exact path I’m headed out on….it is a journey and to all who suffer along the journey with me…may you find peace along the way, too.
Okay, so although I’ve been known to barf my innermost self to others, I’ll play it safe and describe the Human Doing that I was before I crashed like a Boeing on September 27, 2004.
BTW, I don’t mean to offend anyone’s sensibilities with that statement. I was a flight attendant based in New York when 9-11 happened and the subject is a tender one for me, too.
I had my suitcase packed for a 3-day trip on September 28, 2004 when I awakened in the middle of the night, my heart racing. The next day, I staggered out of bed, and that was the start of my nightmare. But let’s rewind.
In the years leading up to my crash in 2004, I backpacked around the world in my days off of work as a Flight Attendant, my paid profession from 1997-2004. My world was graced with color and stimulation, as I was given wings to see over forty countries in my mid-twenties. (The memories come in flashes and I’ve forgotten much, due to Lyme), but eyes that witnessed destitution fostered my ambitions for bettering a world ballooning with tragedy. Subsequently, I began to use my travel benefits to bring aid to South American hospitals and orphanages, and my airline buddies accompanied me on my jaunts. It was the seed of bigger ambitions that got squashed before they had a chance to take root and flourish.
Meanwhile, my type-A personality admonished me to finish a novel I’d started in 2002, and between 2002-2004 I cranked out four drafts of a manuscript which held promise but which later got dropped on its head when Lyme began screaming for my full-time attention.
Before this, and as I flew lower to the ground, warning signs of a crash manifested themselves as back pain, anxiety and creeping fatigue. I wonder if I hadn’t had routine 14-hour workdays with Lyme if I would have paid serious attention to the latter?
In any case, I entered my thirtieth year with the gift of illness and was slowly torn away from all the ambitions of my “former” life.
Fortunately and unfortunately, I am a single woman with no remaining financial assets and although God has had me dangling by a thread since day one, the string of His provision has not snapped and I’ve managed to pay my bills for the past two and a half years. Moving back in with my parents has meant living once again under someone else’s rules but I’ll take that over homelessness. Unlike what I did to my novel, my parents haven’t dropped me on my head, as some parents of chronically ill adult children do.
I am not the same person today that I was two and a half years ago, and God isn’t finished with me yet. I’m not healed, and my mind has come further along than my body so far. I don’t profess to know “the” path to healing, as there isn’t one when it comes to this labyrinthine illness. But I’m two and a half years of Internet Sofa Research ahead of the next person to get broad sided by Lyme, and yet many years behind those who have coped with this, chronic fatigue, and/or chronic illness for most of their lives.
I don’t know what my future holds but I have reticently given a quiet rest to all of my ambitions, except for two—to heal, spiritually, emotionally and physically, and to learn to love others and myself as God loves me.
I sense I am called to participate in others’ healing, however, and am heeding that call though I remain ignorant of the exact path I’m headed out on….it is a journey and to all who suffer along the journey with me…may you find peace along the way, too.
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