I can get really fanatical about healing this disease. On days like today, when the full moon is aglow, enticing the bugs to boogey in my body, I tend to get into research mode to find the next greatest Full Moon Fatigue Reliever. Or else I get depressed, longing for the symptoms to abate. Or I might get desperate, and chug a double dose of MMS in order to kill the vicious party-goers.
I wish I could just relax about the whole thing, and trust that God is leading me on the right path. It's good to be proactive about healing, and especially when it comes to this complicated, twisted illness (no pun intended, but spirochetes are rather twisted, aren't they?), but I find it too easy for this healing journey to become a constant place of desperation.
Truly, I get locked up in its penitentiary way too often.
W hile it's only normal for symptoms to depress, and for pain to clamor for us to take action, how much energy and time must we devote to healing Lyme disease? How often should we worry that we are doing the right thing to treat it? What about taking the time to be still, and simply trusting that God has us on the right path? Do we negate our affirmations of trust in our creator by spending more time on the Lyme disease Yahoo! groups searching for answers instead of asking God Himself for revelation? Do we take our meds with a sigh, worrying that we might never heal? Do we spend our nights desperately seeking for new answers to the problem of Lyme, instead of taking in the world around us?
Even if you don't believe in God, you might yet appreciate that striving and living in a place of dark desperation are counter-productive to healing. Anyway, should getting rid of our infections be our highest goal, or does true health reside someplace else?
Could it reside, for instance, in companionship with our creator? I mean, not all of us are going to get rid of our infections. As hard as it is for me to write that, I must acknowledge it because it is the truth. Lyme is vicious, complicated and...total eradication may only be a reality for some. And if we place all of our hope in getting rid of Lyme and in living a functional life again and it doesn't happen...well, then our happiness is postponed and desperation continues to rule our existence.
Most of us would be happier if we weren't sick, and I'm not saying we should resign ourselves to the Lyme life, apathetic to the healing of our bodies. But what if it's time to be still and trust God more for what we need on this earth? Could we embrace the belief that health is about something greater than our physical well-being?
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Greetings and welcome to my Lyme disease blog, a comfy cozy (and sometimes crazy!) place for cutting-edge information, encouragement and insight into the fastest-growing epidemic disease in the United States. In this blog you will find everything from bug-killing strategies to immune system and hormone help, as well as lifestyle and spiritual suggestions for healing from chronic illness involving Lyme disease. The information contained within this blog is based upon my own healing journey and what I have learned over the past eight years as I have been diligently digging and researching my way back to a better state of health. May you find it to be a source of hope, inspiration and wisdom in your own journey towards wellness.
Friday, March 21, 2008
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5 comments:
Thoughtful post.
The archetype of the wounded healer is a long one. I guess the best healers spend time on healing themselves and through the knowledge they have gained then helping others. So there is a cycle of activity then relection and quiet.
I read a recent book by Norman Cousins called Head first:the biology of hope. I think hope and dreams are essential. Which is why Obama is important.
I know this illness is complicated but I feel if we find an analysis of why we are ill then greater insight and progress can follow.
In fact I think its simple: we are poisoned and we are continually recycling the toxins in our bodies. It is less simple admittedly finding a solution.
But Ellen G. White says that Gods remedies are simple, affordable and safe. I think she is right! This is where faith comes in and that just because we are all not rich and afford to go and see master practiioners like Dr Klinghardt then we are doomed or unworthy.
Another good book is the Gift of Pain by Paul Brand. We should be grateful for being alive with our symptoms unlike Leprosy patients who can fill no pain and constantly injure themselves. See the reviews on Amazon.
Finally I thought your co-moderators on the lyme board were a little unkind to you.
Onwards and upwards
wallace
Returning to your Feb 10th post on Shoemaker. In Mold Warriors he is looking for drugs to fix us and he cant find one so everything gets more complicated. With more tests etc etc
By not really investigating whether there are natural remedies than can do what csm is doing and more, for me he takes a wrong turn
But Gods remedies do many things at once so you dont have to go down the endless road of drugs and more drugs.
Thats my faith, anyway!!
Wallace
Hi Wallace,
Thanks for your post. You have many thoughtful insights here.
I would agree that we are all loaded with toxins; environmental and also from Lyme, and this complicates treatment.
That is an interesting comment you post from Ellen G. White. I have to wonder if she is right. I have seen God provide for the healthcare needs of those who didn't have money to spend on treatments; sometimes, even supernaturally. It is comforting to believe that this is true, especially when we realize that we don't have the money to treat Lyme as we would like.
And yes, I do think that there can be benefits to being able to feel pain--including sympathizing with others who suffer the same. Pain also causes a person to reflect deeply upon life, which can also bring about positive benefits (at least this was the case with me)!
Thanks for your kind sentiments, Wallace. I hope that all is well with you :)
Connie
Hi Wallace,
I agree that God's medicine is holistic, and hence beneficial on a greater level than any drug.
I see your point about Dr. S's book. Cholestyramine surely helps many, but not everyone can tolerate it and alternative remedies might be a better option for some. Those physicians who are able to consider and combine alternative and traditional western therapies are, in my mind, the most effective.
When the writer responds to the apprentice it is always pleasing!!
Have you heard of the christian writer Philip Yancey? He co wrote the Gift of pain and I am currently reading an old edition of his book "Where is God When it Hurts"(see reviews on Amazon). I have ordered the latest edition.Impressive writer.
Wallace
Wallace
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